Resources for Parents and Caregivers

Does your child—young or adult—suffer from anxiety, depression, substance use problems, an eating disorder, or other mental health concern? Do you struggle with their behaviour and/or setting limits? Join us for an upcoming 2-day workshop. For more information, click here.

​In line with modules from Emotion-Focused Family Therapy, our caregiving video is now available to support those interested in "prevention parenting" or who are struggling with the behavioral and/or emotional needs of their loved one, regardless of age. Viewers will be exposed to practical skills and techniques for advanced caregiving, including how to respond to hopelessness and tend to stress responses when in a caregiving role. Click here to access this offering and check out the supporting handouts below.

Are you the parent or caregiver of a teenager or an adult child with an eating disorder? Is your partner suffering? Our first video teaches caregivers how to respond to "I won't eat that" and "I feel fat" in loving and productive ways. The second video focuses on emotion coaching for meal support and symptom interruption and the third video focuses specifically on emotion coaching for meal support. The fourth video offers a parent's perspective of the integration of various EFFT skills when supporting a loved one through recovery. She also shares insights into what felt the most helpful along the way and how she started to recognize that authentic recovery was unfolding. 

This handout also includes numerous script ideas developed by parents and caregivers for parents and caregivers. 

Finally, you might also be interested in this blog post on the use of emotion coaching in the context of meal support specifically. 

Anger is a basic emotion experienced by all. Like every emotion, for anger to run its course, it needs to be expressed and then validated, and preferably by a trusted other. We are now just learning about the power of its role in mental health. For example, issues with anger can lead to an increased risk for symptoms of anxiety, depression, OCD and eating disorders - even self-harm behaviors and suicidality.  Anger can also be used to transform problematic thoughts, urges and behaviors. As such, this recorded webinar provides caregivers with a new framework and specific skills to respond to anger in order to harness its healing power. Strategies are also shared for those whose loved one's anger is easily accessible (read: overflowing) or beneath the surface (read: not sure if it's even there). Click here to access this offering and check out this supporting handout.

Learn and strengthen skills to support cooperation and collaboration with your loved one with this video on Behaviour Coaching. Along with step by step explanation of the skills, this video also explores the very normal reactions that happen for caregivers in the face of their loved one's resistance when trying these new skills. Click here to access this offering and check out the supporting handouts below.

Therapeutic apologies are one of the most powerful interventions in Emotion-Focused Family Therapy. This video will introduce the "standard" EFFT apology. Likely outcomes include: strengthening relationships, releasing self/other-blame for all involved, and evolving the emotional climate of the family. Click here to access this offering and check out this supporting handout.

Is your loved one a super-feeler? A super-feeler has a very sensitive radar for emotion. They can pick up on your sadness, anger or stress, even when you’ve made a point not to talk about it. And when they experience emotions, they can be quite intense. Not surprisingly, it can be hard to be a super-feeler, especially in the younger years. Over time, however, it can become a major asset in relationships and in life in general (we know because we too are super-feelers FYI :)  Click here for more information and a handout that could be helpful for you and your loved one.

Are you in need of tips to increase your child's cooperation and engagement - no matter their age? Click here for a simple guide. Keep in mind, however, that validation is a necessary step and be sure to refer to the validation/support skills to further refine your skills. 

If you are struggling to respond to your loved one in a way that reduces the intensity of their stress/distress, but also leads to their eventual development of self-regulation, click here for more information on the steps of Emotion-Focused Communication, also known as Emotion Coaching. We'd also like to share this great graphic for those who are more visual learners. Should your loved one resist engaging with you, including refusal to open up to you, you might find this handout to be helpful.

If you are a parent or caregiver of a child, you may also want to read this great article that describes the science of emotion processing in children using a simple analogy that you can share with your co-parent and child.

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And if you're serious about getting started - skip straight to the script-builder here. For those supporting a loved one with an eating disorder, click here for script ideas developed by parents and caregivers for parents and caregivers.

Using a tree metaphor, caregivers can recognize the extent to which some problematic caregiving patterns can be rooted in fear, shame, hopelessness, helplessness and complex grief. You may wish to identify patterns with which you can relate. For example, When ______ occurs (event), I sometimes feel (emotions – roots): and I can react with (pattern – branches). Likewise, when co-caregivers are critical about one another’s problematic patterns, this metaphor can support a transformation of how they relate to one another, and hopefully in a more empathic way, therefore leading to more productive discussion and problem-solving. Click here to check out this supporting handout.

To support a process of identifying, understanding and de-pathologizing the expression of common emotion blocks, the New Maudsley’s Animal Metaphors was developed (Treasure, Smith, & Crane, 2006). 

The first set of Animal Metaphors are used to illustrate emotional response styles caregivers may exhibit in the face of their loved one’s struggles in times of stress. The second set of Animal Metaphors are used to illustrate common (more practical) caregiving styles in the face of their loved one’s struggles in times of stress. 

The two sets of Animal Metaphors can provide a convenient, easily learned, and humanistic approach to raising awareness of, and even discussing these very normal polarizations in times of stress. To accompany this exercise, we’ve developed a tool that supports caregivers to self-reflect on their dominant styles to facilitate change. 

Click here to check out this supporting handout. 

Warning: the Animal Metaphors have been reported by many to be extremely helpful. However, for others, they can feel too cheesy, over-generalized or even upsetting. For example, for years, some people and groups of people have been compared to animals to justify all manner of abuse and oppression. Though the use of animals here is with different intent, it could still resonate in a negative way. If this tool does not feel supportive, please move on to the next one. There are many other options for support available and it is important for it to feel aligned.

Many parents and caregivers who are thinking about supporting their loved one using the skills of EFFT may be hesitant or even anxious about doing so for a number of reasons. The Caregiver Traps Scale provides caregivers with a tool for quickly assessing the presence and strength of a number of common caregiver concerns relating to their role as active agents of change in their loved one’s life. Click here to access the Caregiver Traps Scale. 

Using the Caregiver Traps Scale to bring awareness to underlying fears and concerns normalizes their presence and is perhaps the simplest way to reduce their impact. We recommend a review of individual items, taking note of relative extremes. Once concerns are identified, the caregiver can then seek out  emotional and practical support from others, including an EFFT clinician. For example, if a parent is anxious that their engagement in interventions will lead their loved one to become overwhelmed with distress to the point of suicidality, it may be necessary to create a safety plan as part of working through blocks. 

Are you interested in transforming relationship patterns that may get in the way of your best efforts? Complete this self-assessment and determine where you can begin this process. 

First, download and print this document. Then, place a checkmark where you see yourself on each of the lines with regard to the different relationship dimensions. Next, identify your relative extremes – in other words – the top 3 dimensions where you marked yourself the farthest from the middle, either to the left or the to the right. Then, try to brainstorm one behavior/conversation that will help you to make your way closer to that middle. For example, if you never apologize, offer a sincere apology to your partner/child/loved one. 

The Relationship Dimensions tool can be a powerful to guide change in your relationships starting today, and it can be repeated over time to support ongoing growth. Best to complete this tool on your own, though you can solicit reflections from others should you feel comfortable doing so.